60 hours without food

More because I was bored and because I wanted to do something exciting with my body — I’d always imagined that I’d want to subject my body to limits such as starvation, thirst and exhaustion (not simultaneously) just to see what happens and whether I can do it, particularly after reading days long hunger strikes of popular leaders — than really intending to lose weight, I decided to go on crash diet for three days. I chose a simple one: only warm water with honey and lemon for three days and nothing more. I eventually didn’t continue third days but not because I was feeling hungry or weak. In fact, my experiment surprised myself so much that I didn’t feel any particularly different that I delayed writing about it so far, because, there wasn’t anything to write about.

After a moderate dinner night before, I went through first day on 4-5 helpings of water+honey combos without feeling much twist in my stomach. After momentary hunger pang at lunch time, which I would have felt any other day as well when I delayed my lunch, I was perfectly okay well up to the night. That night, I did feel little difficulty in falling asleep and my stomach kept me awake for one hour before letting me slip in to land of dreams. Next day, surprisingly, was better. I went through whole day without as much as pang of hunger and had a peaceful sleep the next night too. I could have easily continued for the third day, or even longer, before my body starts giving hints of starvation, but I didn’t. Particularly because I knew getting back to routine would take time and I didn’t want my first meal to be on work day (Monday) where my luncheon menu is less healthy and beyond my control. My break-fast was light, as required, and by the dinner time I was back to my original routine. My physical activities during past two days were normal and didn’t include huge acts of physical exertion.

Only thing this experiment has taught me is that I feel no difficulty in not eating for two days straight and that I should try even longer time frame next time if I really wanted to stretch limits of my body.

Calcutta and a car with no driver

North Indians who had never been to Calcutta had surprisingly consistent reactions when I mentioned that I will going there for my next project. Calcutta is perceived as an unappealing city — city where there is nothing to look forward to, city which is old and dirty, city where no one in sane mind would want to go. There is not so much of disdain than surprise and disinterest. Fortunately, I didn’t have any such presumptions to begin with.

I knew Calcutta is left behind in march of ruthless progress which has painted facade of other metros and tier-I cities in India but I was also keen to visit part of country which I’d never been before. Calcutta didn’t disappoint me. As a tourist, at least, I walked into a city frozen into sixties but came out happier. Streets hustling with crowds and vendors, pavements lined with myriads of goods decorated in many ways, dilapidated trams crawling in middle of road and denizens relishing uniquely Bengali delicacies sent me back to memories of childhood fairs. That my most favourite snack gol-guppas were staple of city did help the matter. I didn’t see city much in two days but got glimpse of life in general. Victoria memorial at night was lined by couples in stages of embrace which could put Marine Drive in Mumbai to shame. Street side food is mouth watering. Even though I am no big fan of Bengali sweets, and sweets in general, I found Sandesh — which I tasted for first time — quite nice.

There is no better way to mention the ethos of Calcutta than to narrate little experience I had while being driven from airport to my destination.

At some point along two hour ride, our driver decided to switch to “shot-cut” to avoid potential congestion on the road ahead. To give Murphy a credit, our alternate route was no less congested. While being stuck in a traffic jam for few minutes, our driver had an epiphany: he could use time better. He excused himself almost in hurry before we could protest and said that he’ll back after ‘taking a leak’. To further credit Edward Murphy, jam was cleared within minutes of him departing. Naturally, cars behind us started honking after courtesy wait of one second. Our driver was spotted on far end of road smoking, oblivious of raucous that an unmanned territorial vehicle created in middle of heavy traffic.

I had heard Calcutta is laid back city. I think, those ten minutes in car were perhaps what Calcutta is all about.

Gazillion Pillows

Room I was staying in Holiday Inn in London had to undergo renovation. So I was upgraded — so I was told — to better room. This room was exactly same as the one before, except that now I had eight pillows on my double bed rather than two. When I went to sleep, I just threw down seven of them on the floor. Why would anyone need so many of them was perplexing. I was reminded of this the other day when reading this article:

One might think that beds are made for sleeping in, but they’d be wrong. Apparently, unbeknownst to men everywhere, beds are in fact made to hold as many pillows as possible. Only a fraction of the pillows present are actually functional at any given point in time, while the rest are there for some unstated purpose. Sleeping on the bed requires several minutes of relocating pillows to suitable locations, which of course will be designated by the woman who placed them to begin with.

I can imagine need for second pillow for those who like to cuddle with pillow when sleeping or need an extra prop support when sitting. My creativity runs out when envisaging need for third pillow or more.

On airline safety

Perhaps the most embarrassing part of the job of a flight attendant is safety announcements. If a well draped, polished executive who is about to deliver keynote speech at podium is asked to recite ‘twinkle-twinkle’ before he can begin, that is how he would feel. This awkwardness multiplies because, one, nobody in audience pays attention, and second, they have to do it twice in Hindi and English, both. Their lackadaisical gestures are far too easily noticeable when drained steward or stewardess mechanically goes through the motions. I often dream about final exam of flight attendant’s school necessarily having a question on steps of safety demonstration. From what I’ve observed, stewards are more uninterested than stewardesses in moving their hands more than a foot away from their bodies. So routine this routine has become that process has lost its very purpose — for I believe that first time flyer will find these instructions too fast and too limited. It’s another matter that even after numerous flying miles, I am still not sure if I can find my safety jacket beneath my seat.

This brings me to the second point. Why must these instructions be relayed live? Most airlines, even those who have personal entertainment screen for every seat, conduct these announcements live: narrated by an on-board attendant and demonstrated by other attendants. I would imagine that having a tape recorder with instructions to be played could be simplest thing to have. If inbuilt tape recorder is expensive proposition requiring rewiring of aircraft’s public announcement system, I can imagine a steward playing a pocket tape into the microphone. Of course, alternative thought suggests that once in-flight crew is on board, they might as well do something to keep themselves busy.

Third point on this topic is about requirement of doing so at all. Surely, Government of India guidelines specify wording of instructions and usage of two languages*, but must those be followed to the letter? Could their be an AAI or DGCA official sitting in plainclothes among traveller who’d report the violation? Or perhaps the penalty of violation is large enough to dissuade airlines from taking any chances at all. Then there is something-to-do reasoning, again.

*God bless them for continued Hindi usage, for if left to airline and airport staff only, Hindi would completely disappear as it did from shopping complexes — richness often being irrevocably associated with usage of English and abandonment of National language. Note that any announcement which is not part of required announcement is only relayed in English, chief among them being Captain’s mid-air flight summary.

Brain, Beauty, Availability, etc.

A well know equation describes feminine disposition as:
Beauty X Brain = 0
A more generous version of the same propositions that:
Beauty X Brain X Availability = 0
where ‘beauty’, ‘brain’ and ‘availability’ are binary variables.

This equations implies that a girl cannot be beautiful, brainy and unattached at any point of time simultaneously. Among numerous corollaries of this equation, two complementary ones are common fodder of dismay among young men: all beautiful and intelligent girls are taken and those who are available are n/either beautiful n/or intelligent but not both. I take umbrage at such implication.

First, by definition, it is a fact that those who are unavailable now must be available prior some point in time, for one can make available unavailable and not unavailable unavailable¹. It must, then, necessarily be true that among those who are beautiful and intelligent there must a time, if only a fraction of instant, where above equation fails to hold and when girl is simultaneously available, beautiful and intelligent. One could argue that such infinitesimal point is discontinuity in the function which is valid elsewhere.

If such anomaly is not acceptable, then for equation to be valid it must be true that girl becomes intelligent and/or beautiful as soon as she gets a boyfriend, which, while possibly being true in long term², cannot possibly be true instantaneously. Thus, one must either accept frailty of this equation or believe that equation must hold only on long term average basis. Second of this appears more palatable. This, therefore, suggests that above equation is asymptotically true as population size and time horizon grow longer. Of course, this weakens the case for disappointed men who excuse their inability behind this universal law.

1. Assuming simple case of one boyfriend at a time.
2. Glow of love or diffusion of external wisdom from new person may be reason behind.

Riding on a moving platform

Sometimes I have to ride standing up. Short travel from airport departure gate to airplane and in local bus and train journey necessitates me to ride on a moving platform standing up. Such rides are not always smooth, even after ignoring the bumps on the road, force of acceleration, deceleration and curvature throws off the person with weak support. Hence, to stabilize myself, I need to hold on to handrails or handlebars. One point support at top end of my body frame doesn’t provide me full steadiness and unless I have something to hold on to at my waist level by other hand, my posture is not firm. Such horizontal support is not easy to come by, particularly if there is paucity of handrails compared to people, if I am holding some piece of luggage with my other hand, or if I am lodged in the middle of crowded vehicle away from walled boundaries of said platform.

At such moments, which are far too common, I must brace myself using my feet. Knowing that bending moment of a cross section is function of cube of the height and of only width, I position my both feet in L shape so as to provide me maximum moment of inertia on two perpendicular direction. Any force of jolt from any direction can be adequately born by two mutually perpendicular frames of my leg by splitting the component of force along two axis defined by L shape. At least, this is hoped. On many such occasions, I observe position of feet of co-passengers and find no apparent logic or system to buttress against the swing of turning or stopping.

Irony of the matter is that despite my posture based on solid grounds of physics and dynamics, I’ve found myself more vulnerable to jerks compared to other people who exhibit no visible support better than me.

Holding the door open

One thing that I imported from US stay was holding the door open for your following walker. This practice is so common in US that everyone will do it even for complete strangers when passing through a gated entrance in any public place. It obviates need for follower to pry open the door, specially if that warrants special effort or entry pass and saves few moments of his time. It encumbers leader to spend few moments waiting for follower to catch up to him and keep the door open lest it shuts on follower’s face. This is all part of acceptable social courtesy and admittedly a good one.

However, being a courtesy ritual, this also has danger of having more meaning in intention than in reality. In some cases, waiting for follower to catch up could be as long as 10 to 15 seconds (a not insignificant time standing holding the door) which could be inconvenient for the leader. Moreover, sometimes it is not required for leader to wait holding the door open for follower, even if leader has intention of eliminating efforts of opening on follower’s part. This is because of how some door works.

As you know very well, some doors have spring or damper in their hinges which makes them close very slowly even when not held open. As you also know that typical human frame can enter a door which is only half open because of difference in width of door opening and width of human body. Combining these two insights with the common sense estimate of follower’s speed can sometime make leader leave the door and walk away just at the moment so that door is still half open for follower to pass through without having to open again. This will not only serve the purpose of helping your follower but also reduce waiting time for the leader — a win-win situation which serves the courtesy as well as minimizes total inconvenience. But, of course. Follower’s potential inability to understand this dynamics and calculation in leader’s mind and read leader’s action in not keeping the door open as violation of social courtesy, thereby imparting more meaning to ritual rather than effect, and thereby casting doubt on intention of leader rather than evaluating impact of his action, forces leader to wait till follower catches up, thus achieving suboptimal solution for himself without improving convenience to other.

I've had this debate internally so many times whenever I was leader in this ritual.

Edit 14th July 2014.
I was much ahead of the times :) http://thedoghousediaries.com/5842

1411

That’s the number you’ve been told about remaining number of tigers in India. Campaign is ubiquitous: on prime time TV, on print media, on bill boards. Cause is just: after all, conservation of any animal specie is worthy effort, let alone unique, majestic and royal creature as Royal Bengal Tiger of India. So, of course, you are supposed to join the roar.

I do wonder though if such expense of money on campaign is going to serve any useful purpose at all. Your writing blogs, SMSing friends and writing articles in media will help whom? Are poachers, illegal traders or users of goods made from tiger will suddenly change their heart because Mahender Singh Dhoni says so? Will politicians and forest officials will see light at the end of tunnel and gear their actions towards stricter punishment and speedy justice? Will China stop consuming soup of tiger’s private parts for increasing their fertility? If not, what is your roar going to do?

Even their website is not sure if you can help. It says 'you can help', so I went there looking how. It says “roar” and previous paragraphs tells me that impact of that is non-existence and unclear at best. It says “donate” which, naturally, will help promote this very campaign but which is not going to have any effect anyway since this is precisely what we are discussing now. It says “be informed” which is good but again a useless activity. I am well informed about severity of this issue and how is this going to help me or tigers? It says “speak up” which is another word for “roar” in ‘saveourtigers’ lingo. You see where am I going here? Website suggests us to “lead the change”. Now if you are kind of person who will kill tiger for money or wear that necklace of tiger bones, I am not sure if reading this website will change your mind. Supposing if it does, what fraction of market of tiger goods is from these kind of people? And, of course, if you are not this kind of person then you are already part of change, even if unconsciously. Having access to most strata of India society, I don’t see any of intended audience of this campaign consuming tiger anyway. Further advice given in the campaign is to “write, SMS, donate, spread the word” which we have seen is rehash of earlier.

What can be remotely considered useful is advice about being “responsible tourist” and example given is not to throw chips packet in national parks. How much impact will it have in improving 1411 number doesn’t require a genius. Hint: it won’t. It continues to say that we should “preserve natural resources”. Preaching to the choir?

What happened, if I can imagine, is this. World Wildlife Fund knows that this is worthy cause and Aircel joined with big sponsorship and now we have an organization which has lot of money but nothing to do with it. So they blow all in advertisement saying what they do (save the tigers) but that they don’t actually do (they just campaign). I am not good at these sort of things but I’d reckon that throwing all the money to bribe forest officials to catch poachers, lobbying politicians to change regulations, incentivizing local communities near forests to alternate livelihood and exposing China’s consumption to world at large will be better use of money than that expensive billboard shouting “1411”.

Related read: Only other blog raising this question, Humorous take on this (NSFW)

Unimpressed by magic

I’ve seen magic shows (live, on TV, on web) and I’ve read about them. Because they are magic shows, they are, well, magical and unbelievable. Some stuff just seems impossible, but being magical, is shown to be possible. I’ve read about people being handcuffed and locked in multiple iron boxes and thrown in sea and come out free as a bird few hours later. This is quite unbelievable and more magical than tricks on stage because you don’t have access to equipment and stage itself. I’ve seen people in audience dropping their jaw and going ‘wow’ over magic. I’ve found myself interestingly amused but not blown over. Why?

For first, I am convinced that there is some trick to magic so it’s not real magic but merely an illusion. It’s not a momentous insight but this knowledge doesn’t let me really get into magic because part of being blown over is to believe it as real. Second, being aware that trickery is being performed, and being aware that I don’t know what is it, implies ignorance on my part which is not something I am impressed by. Magic, thus, is thrown in category of things-unexplained-yet-but-there-is-explanation-somewhere-that-i-don’t-know-yet along with God, black holes and what women want. These are the things I am fascinated by but not awestruck by.

What gets me going is though the explanation behind magical tricks. That, of course, is not easy to come by. I’ve read workings of trivial magical tricks in books and on web and seen some of those in movie The Prestige (which is a must watch movie, by the way). A double layered milk bottle which when turned upside down drains its little quantity of milk into oversized bottle stopper thus creating a illusion of whole bottle worth of milk disappearing is simple yet impressive trick for me.

Genius which creates illusion which blows over masses and confuses prowess of brain is worthy of my true admiration, and not it’s creation.

Edit 20/03/2010: Explanation of one of truely amazing tricks:

Anticipatory pleasures

Among the things I like to eat, there are some things I start missing if I’ve not had them for many days. Rich chocolate cake, pizza, turai sabzi, daal-baati and Subway™ sandwich are some such examples. When faced with opportunity of consuming them, I develop irresistible urge to savour the object of desire. I often succumb to my urge. What is surprising to me is the fact that I end up enjoying them mere okay and not become as ecstatic as I thought I would be after eating them. Even more surprising fact that despite my less than extraordinary experience this time, I will once again start missing same things and cycle will continue.

Why does my mind plays such tricks on me? Do my expectations always overshadow my real experiences? If so, why don’t my expectations decrease next time? Am I tough nut to please? Am I subconsciously enjoying them? Is there such thing as subconscious enjoyment of eatables?

It seems that only way for me to enjoy what I enjoy is not to really enjoy it but only anticipate the enjoyment the enjoyable object will bring.