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Wednesday, March 10, 2010

Brain, Beauty, Availability, etc.

Categories: , ,
A well know equation describes feminine disposition as:
Beauty X Brain = 0
A more generous version of the same propositions that:
Beauty X Brain X Availability = 0
where ‘beauty’, ‘brain’ and ‘availability’ are binary variables.

This equations implies that a girl cannot be beautiful, brainy and unattached at any point of time simultaneously. Among numerous corollaries of this equation, two complementary ones are common fodder of dismay among young men: all beautiful and intelligent girls are taken and those who are available are n/either beautiful n/or intelligent but not both. I take umbrage at such implication.

First, by definition, it is a fact that those who are unavailable now must be available prior some point in time, for one can make available unavailable and not unavailable unavailable1. It must, then, necessarily be true that among those who are beautiful and intelligent there must a time, if only a fraction of instant, where above equation fails to hold and when girl is simultaneously available, beautiful and intelligent. One could argue that such infinitesimal point is discontinuity in the function which is valid elsewhere.

If such anomaly is not acceptable, then for equation to be valid it must be true that girl becomes intelligent and/or beautiful as soon as she gets a boyfriend, which, while possibly being true in long term2, cannot possibly be true instantaneously. Thus, one must either accept frailty of this equation or believe that equation must hold only on long term average basis. Second of this appears more palatable. This, therefore, suggests that above equation is asymptotically true as population size and time horizon grow longer. Of course, this weakens the case for disappointed men who excuse their inability behind this universal law.

1. Assuming simple case of one boyfriend at a time.
2. Glow of love or diffusion of external wisdom from new person may be reason behind.


Partha Pratim said...

This is funny. Someone is going to kill you for this post :P

Ashish Gupta said...

shadab khan via Google Buzz:-
eeks, there is a flaw. A girl who (by any remote chance) IS beautiful and brainy, she WILL be unattached. However, her standards and expectations would be so high, that most guys will fall short.

Charisma Choudhury via Facebook:-
The following seems logically possible:)

Assume beauty is a static variable (though nowadays it can dynamic as well) and intelligence is a dynamic variable.

How about the possibility that a beautiful and intelligent girl is unavailable till time (t-delta). Between time (t-delta) and t she momentarily becomes 'unintelligent' and hence 'vulnerable' or 'available'. During that infinitesimal point of 'unintelligence' she gets a boyfriend and becomes unavailable and intelligent again :)

Rupam Shrivastava via Facebook
haha... maybe the vulnerability causes her to become unintelligent...

Ashish Gupta via Facebook
@Charisma: You imply that (1) her intelligence is contingent on her having a boyfriend (pro-man argument). This, I had pondered but relegated to long term effect.

Also, (2) reason she decides to have boyfriend is momentarily lapse of intelligence (pro-woman argument). This, I had not envisioned.

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