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Saturday, July 14, 2012

You are fired!

Categories: , , ,

No other act has seen use of so many euphemism as corporate action of firing employee off. In quest to be as sweet as possible while doing the exact opposite, corporate HR should probably won some kind prize for coming up so many ways to not say what they want to. Not that I believe companies shouldn’t fire people, but it will be worth a bit honesty and ethics to not rub salt on it. Of course, honesty and ethics are kinds of things you wouldn’t associate with any big company anyway.

In the sprit of doublespeak, then, here is collection of what ‘you are fired’ may sound like:

assignment ended
assignment expired
best shoring
bought out
bounced out
career change opportunity
career transition
cashiered
contract not renewed
contracted out
decruitment
discharged
dismissed
down size
early retired
eased out
end of trial period
freed up for the future
going in different directions
headcount adjustment
headcount reduction
helped with exit
invited to be successful elsewhere
involuntary separation
laid off
let go
made available to industry
made redundant
make internal efficiencies
managed out
off shoring
optimized
outplaced
outsourced
personnel realignment
personnel surplus reduction
position has been eliminated
promoted to customer (retail workers)
pursue other opportunities
rationalize the workforce
reclined to extend
reduced headcount
reduction in force
re-engineered
regime change
released
released from the talent pool
relieved of duties
reorganized
re-prioritizing labor expenses
resource action
responsibilities have been reassigned
right size
separated
services no longer required
skill mix adjustment
smart size
stepped down
taking it for the team
terminated
unassigned
we really feel like we’re holding you back here
workforce efficiency initiative

1 comment:

Pritee said...

I really like - "freed up for the future" - what's that for? and "we really feel like we're holding you back here"....but it appraisals you are treated as if you don't even deserve the "meet all expectations" rating

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